Accidental Blogger

After-life rituals such as funerals, memorial services, disposal of the dead body by burial, cremation or mummification benefit the living – the dead are beyond caring. For grieving families, friends and survivors last rites are a mechanism for coping with the loss and pay their respects. Usually  funeral ceremonies are planned around what local culture dictates or what survivors feel the dear departed would have wanted – often a sentimental guesswork. But some post mortem rituals are designed to fulfill the actual wishes of the dead themselves, expressed during their life time. Many leave detailed or sketchy instructions about what they want done with their mortal remains. Whether funeral services will be religious or secular, the choice of music, flowers or charitable contributions in lieu thereof are details that people let their families know beforehand.  Some want to be buried in a certain place, next to a certain other dead body or with a favorite earthly possession.

In the last few decades the popularity of cremation has risen sharply among societies accustomed to burying their dead.  Consequently, choice of headstone and location of cemetaries are no longer the only details to be considered after the death of a family member.  Many who choose to be cremated don’t just want their incinerated remains sitting in a decorative urn. They want their ashes scattered in a favorite place – on a mountain top, a forest, into the sea, a river or a lake, often far from home. Lengthy travel may be involved in reaching the desired resting place for the ashes and surviving families may not have time or the resources to make the journey.  Like every other service for fee, this final last rite too can be designated to professionals – the cermony can resemble a cruise or an adventure in the air.

Dwight Smith and his mother made several trips to Ireland over the years, reveling in the beauty of the Killarney lakes in the southwest corner of the country. When Smith’s mother died in August, there was no question that she would be cremated — a request she had made often — or that her remains would be scattered near the lakes. But Smith, of New London, Conn., said he didn’t have the time or resources to make the trip now and wanted to fulfill his mother’s wishes soon.

"What she doesn’t want to be is in Long Island Sound," he said.

Checking with a mortician friend, he hooked up with the International Scattering Society in the Kansas City suburb of Lee’s Summit, a sort of travel agency for the cremated dead that for a fee would handle the paperwork and logistics required in taking his mother’s remains overseas. This month, one of the society’s members will scatter the ashes in Killarney and provide Smith with video or photos of the event.

"I feel that it will be done in a better way than I could have done," he said.

The dead are not content to just sit on the mantle anymore.

Bill Metzger, for example, said he’s seen a 50 percent increase in customers over the past year for his business, Final Flights, which uses his Piper Cherokee to scatter ashes above southern California sites, such as La Jolla, Big Bear or the Catalina Islands. He said he does six to 10 scatterings a month at a cost of $300 to $500, depending on distance and fuel prices.

"When I get a call and I explain what we do, people are stunned; they didn’t know something like this existed," Metzger said. "It just seemed an uplifting — no pun intended — happy way of doing things, as opposed to a somber scattering at sea or placing in a columbarium (crypt)."