Cross-posted from Fluff-n-Stuff
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So Hillary Clinton announced in a meeting that as a little girl she had learned to shoot and gone hunting ducks with her dad.
"As
I told you, my dad taught me how to shoot behind our cottage,” she
said. “I have gone hunting. I am not a hunter. But I have gone hunting."Clinton said she has hunted ducks.
Take that all you namby-pamby elitist urban liberals who have zero experience with gun powder. Bang, bang, bang! You’re dead.
Ah,
but has she handled wriggling earth worms, semi-live cockroaches and
frogs? Has she gently transported beetles and spiders to the safety of
the great outdoors from their unsafe locations indoors? These are
examples of questions to be asked of a future president- not whether
they learned to point and shoot guns at farm-raised quail ,ducks, deer
or lawyers’ faces.
Press reporter: Eek, there’s a rat running about the room.
All (except candidates at podiums) : [screaming, jumping up on the chairs… pandemonium.]
Hillary: Get a rattrap…No…Get me a gun. I’ll take it out.
McCain: [waking up from his snooze] What the h__’s going on here? [nods off again]
Obama:
Uh..I need to make this point. Let’s have the judgement to locate the
rat first before jumping up on chairs and shooting at random feet.
……
Extending the courtesy to those who refused to enter the presidential sweepstakes and those who dropped out.
Gore:
The scientific consensus is that this rat’s a climate refugee. Global
warming has caused the climate change that is driving the rat from its
natural habitat into crowded press conferences. We are morally bound to
try and reverse this state of affairs.
Kucinich: [Buddha-like expression, bends down] Here, Ratty, ratty! Let me get you out of this noisy place to a nice garden.
Edwards:
As I’ve mentioned, my father was a mill-worker and had to deal with
many a rat in the house when he was young. I have the experience and
passion you need in a president to deal with rats in press conference
rooms.
Biden: McCain will sleep on the job. I won’t.
Huckabee: [Waves a sharpened pencil around] Heck, where I come from, we
use pencils to skewer ’em. Rat meatballs make an excellent
addition to soup.
Giuliani: A rat in the room: we need to go after
it like we hunted down the perpetrators of 9/11. I’m the only one in
the room with experience dealing with terrorists like this rat.
Romney:
[looks miffed with all the attention the rat has been getting, but not
a hair is out of place]McCain supported the rat in his speech that he gave last time. Now he is contradicting himself. [smiles
the plastic smile to show off his perfect teeth]
Accidental Blogger 
6 responses to “Duck, you’re being shot at and other silly musings (Sujatha)”
And from Bill Clinton, a candidate who was never in the race but behaves as if he’d never left.
“You know, I got tickled the other day. A lot of the way this whole campaign has been covered has amused me. But there was a lot of fulminating because Hillary, one time late at night when she was exhausted, misstated — and immediately apologized for it — that she shot a duck behind her cottage. Did y’all see all that? Oh, they blew it up.”
Very funny, Sujatha.
Do you think Hillary’s gun-toting, church going image is being burnished to contrast her with the effete, elitist Obama who doesn’t understand salt of the earth Pennsylvania/ Ohio / Indiana voters or is she angling for card carrying NRA Republicans against war hero McCain?
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At this point in the race, she’s desperately clinging on to anything that she can in order to maintain her ever-shrinking lead over Obama. Though the press didn’t give the ‘punished with a child’ statement much airtime,they seem to have caught on to the ‘bitter’ comment and run with it (And I keep getting reminded of the Betty Botter’s bitter butter tongue-twister). There’s still 9 days left for the primary, so let’s see whether this gaffe by Obama will affect the overall vote pattern. My sense is that it may account for a couple of points drop in undecided voters against Obama.
Of course, I seriously doubt that Hillary’s gun-toting hunting, whiskey quaffing shtick will get her any crossover votes from the NRA Republicans. Those types loathe her and will invariably pick McCain in a general election over her anyway.
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Now I like a woman (or a man) who can hold her liquor. But with all this beer swilling and whisky quaffing – is she sending a message about her “authentic” working class background to the voters in Alleghany County? As you said, it still may not be enough to charm those gruff down home folks.
My advice to Barack Obama to counter the elitist charges:
Ditch the Nicorette Gum. Crack open a pack of Marlboro again. There is nothing more working class than smoking in this day and age.
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lol! great article. I trust hillary as far as I can throw her.
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I never thought I’d be quoting Cheney (or perhaps I should say, his script writer), but have to say that this comment in a recent send-up elicited a guffaw: ” And you in the press need to go easy on Senator Clinton on the whole business about running and ducking from gunfire in Bosnia. She made an honest mistake. She confused the Bosnia trip with the time I took her hunting.” Ha, he’s finally found some half-way decent script writers
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Well, he was funny – with his clenched jaw, dead pan expression and the ghost of a smile touching his razor thin lips. I didn’t see the broadcast of the whole dinner, only the clips that played during news shows.
The link you have provided covers most of what Cheney said except the quip at the end of his stand up routine. He politely told the press corps to go do what he asked Senator Patrick Leahy to do to himself a while back.
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