Accidental Blogger

All over the city, stands and tents have sprouted up hawking Phantom Fireworks. I can’t even go to my local grocery without seeing piles and piles of tempting displays of assorted sparklers, Roman candles and small rockets all packaged together and tempting me as I rush to grab a carton of milk. (Location, location is prime-in grocery aisles as in real estate. Why else would they position the firework display right near the most visited aisle in the store?)

The Post-Gazette Guru of the Gab , Reg Henry, has weighed in on the birthright of the American citizenry to burst crackers to celebrate their independence and freedom.

With patriotism at high ebb around the Fourth of July, and the
Second Amendment with perfect timing having been confirmed as an
individual right to own guns, I believe it is the hour when we the
people must assert our ancient right to keep and bear fireworks.

It
makes no sense to me that Americans can have all sorts of guns, which
they can use to shoot unsuspecting deer and suspecting burglars, yet
many of them cannot let off an honest Roman candle or
eardrum-assaulting firecracker as a sign of their American exuberance.

Exuberance to celebrate independence- from what? Definitely not banks or high gas prices or FISA or
airport security or health insurance juggernauts. Though we have the
right to possess handguns (and gun powder in ammunition, by extension)
, we cannot have fireworks.

For instance,the draconian laws in my township state:

F-2700.3 Permit applications: Application for permits shall be made in writing at least 15 days in advance of the date of the display or discharge of fireworks. The sale, possession, use and distribution of fireworks for such display shall be lawful under the terms and conditions approved with the permit and for that purpose only. A permit granted hereunder shall not be transferable, nor shall any such permit be extended beyond the dates set out therein.
F-2700.4 Definition: Fireworks shall mean and include any combustible or explosive composition, or any substance or combination of substances, or article prepared for the purpose of producing a visible or an audible effect by combustion, explosion, deflagration or detonation, and shall include blank cartridges, toy pistols, toy cannons, toy canes or toy guns in which explosives are used, the type of balloons which require fire underneath to propel the same, firecrackers, torpedoes, skyrockets, Roman candles, dago bombs, sparklers or other devices of like construction and any device containing any explosive or flammable compound, or any tablets or other devices containing any explosive substance, except that the term "fireworks" shall not include auto flares, paper caps containing not in excess of an average of.25 grain (I 6.2 mg) of explosive content per cap, and toy pistols, toy canes, toy guns or other devices for use of such caps, the sale and use of which shall be permitted at all times.

Oh great, so what to make of all those mushrooming firework sales stands? Are they lures for the unwary, designed to keep the police department on its toes rushing around to issue citations for breaking the law? We’ve already had a minor incident at Diwali time last year, so I wonder what it will be like this time.

Maybe it would be best to stay away from fireworks and instead acquire a few guns to fire exuberant and celebratory shots just as they do in the Middle East. Surely, the township cannot object to that, especially in the wake of the recent US Supreme Court ruling.