Two newspaper articles about the decline of public etiquette in the age of Internet caught my eye – one about students behaving rudely with teachers and the other describing the increasingly frequent display of incivility by public figures. I have seen similar lamentations before, some recently and others from my own teachers and parents during the 1960 - 70s when drugs, rock and roll and student revolts began to shake the middle class world although there was no Internet to chip away at our niceness. My co-blogger Dean and I had a short but candid exchange about one of the articles, drawing from the memory of our own youthful experiences.
It's been decades since I faced a class room full of energetic teenage boys. I wonder how I would have handled the new student-teacher rules of etiquette. But although my students did not carry laptops or Blackberries to class, rude notes were passed behind my back and salacious novels were often on the knees under the desk while I labored to transmit the beauty and simplicity of the Periodic Table. I don't remember even the boldest of mischief makers among my pupils ever saying, "Hey Ruchira" to my face or in writing although I am sure a few probably said much worse things out of my ear shot. The overwhelming majority of students I had encountered during my teaching years were courteous and sweet in their interactions with me and other teachers. However, that is not quite the same as pretending that teachers in my era dealt strictly with a room full of Emily Posts during school hours.
Lee Shumow doesn't want to text her students, or be their friend on Facebook, but to their chagrin prefers an old-fashioned way to communicate: e-mail.
The educational psychology professor at Northern Illinois University appreciates when students take the time to reply. It's an extra treat when they don't begin their message with, "Hey, Lee."
She and many of her colleagues believe such informality has seeped into the college classroom environment, citing student behavior that's best described as rude or oblivious. As students begin a new semester this month, instructors bracing for yet another onslaught blame technology for creating a disengaged generation whose attention is constantly diverted by laptops, phones and iPods.
Others point to the unruly classroom as a reflection of an increasingly ill-mannered society. Nearly 70 percent of Americans polled in 2005 said they believe people are more rude than they were 20 to 30 years ago.
"I literally cannot imagine having addressed any teacher I had in my career as 'Hey' and then their first name,' " said Shumow, who has a doctoral degree and has taught 15 years at NIU. "I love them. I won an award for undergraduate teaching in 2005. But man, the world has really changed from when I was a student."
To their credit, most students are respectful and more inquisitive than ever, faculty members say.
About public figures behaving badly, the recent outbursts by tennis star Serena Williams, rapper Kanye West and of course, South Carolina congressman Joe "You Lie" Wilson illustrate the second article. I like Serena, do not know anything about Kanye West and I feel that Congressman Wilson's finger wagging condemnation of the president was inappropriate. I agree that all three behaved quite outrageously. But were they very much worse than some of their predecessors in history to warrant the kind of harrumphing that the media and the public are indulging in? Or do we feel more unsettled because the explosion in the communications tools at our hands enables us to see and experience the ugliness instantaneously and endlessly? For example, was Serena any more out of control than John McEnroe, Ilie Nastase or Jimmy Connors in their heyday? Aren't most rockers and rappers wild and uncouth? But are they especially naughty compared to the sexist, racist and self absorbed media stars of earlier eras? Did Wilson do more harm to Obama than another congressman from South Carolina once did to a senate member of his day? Or is our sense of public propriety really going down the slithery tube?
Is this a nation of loudmouth brats?
It's difficult to imagine Theodore Roosevelt or James Madison coaxing along the country as President Obama did Sunday on 60 Minutes, saying “the loudest, shrillest voices get the most attention. And so, one of the things I'm trying to figure out is, you know, how can we make sure that civility is interesting?”
Obama was, of course, referring to U.S. Rep Joe Wilson's highly uncivil “You lie!” outburst during a joint session of Congress last week (interesting, yes; civil, no). But who knew on the very weekend Obama cited loud, shrill voices of dissent that other uncivil voices, just as loud and shrill, were making themselves heard?
Incivility was working overtime Sunday night when hip-hop artist Kanye West interrupted 19-year-old country-pop singer Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards to insist Beyoncé made a better video, and Saturday night when Serena Williams broke into an expletive-laced tirade against a line judge at the U.S. Open semifinals.
Whether it's Levi Johnston's unflattering tell-all about his almost-mother-in-law Sarah Palin in the October issue of Vanity Fair or University of Oregon running back LeGarrette Blount's sucker punch of a Boise State defensive end on national television, it seems like high season for bad behavior.
The only good take-away from these well-publicized acts of incivility? That they're not generally tolerated, said Lizzie Post, a spokeswoman for the Emily Post Institute of etiquette experts.
“The public's reaction to these things is an indicator to us that people want etiquette, appreciate etiquette and want to stand up for good behavior,” said the great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post. “It affirms for us that people don't appreciate Kanye jumping up on stage or Joe Wilson blatantly calling the president a liar. They don't appreciate those outbursts.”
Those outbursts may seem to be happening more often and in more ugly ways. Or perhaps we just get to watch.
“There are more ways for us to see it,” television and pop culture expert Robert Thompson of Syracuse University said of outbursts from West or Wilson, both of which easily broke through “the clutter of 300 channels of television and an infinity of Internet.”
It's not that we're more uncivil; it's just that there are more ways for us to witness it, Thompson said.
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